Insight Page 13

  “Done.”

  He slides me down and kisses me again before I can catch my breath.

  “Hey.” My voice is soft, like I have no air.

  “Are you hiding out here?” he asks.

  “My mom and your uncle are inside…together…on the couch...”

  “Enough said.” He makes sure we don’t break contact, slides his hand down my arm until our hands are together. I have to let go of Landon to get onto the back of Ethan’s truck, and now we’re not touching. Goose bumps break out over my body again. The night really is cold. It’s more obvious when his arms aren’t around me.

  “You know the things you say really have me thinking.” His voice is quiet.

  “Are we being serious now?”

  “Yes, but only for a moment.” He smirks.

  I love that this friendly Landon is back after Lacey. “Okay, what have you been thinking about?” I’ll play along.

  “About Brigitte.”

  “What about?” A small line of jealousy forms in my stomach that slowly seeps outward as I wait for him to continue. Why are we talking about her?

  “Just when you told me that I should be nice.” He shrugs. “I don’t think about people the way I should. I think.”

  “You think? What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I’m spoiled, you know.”

  “Everyone knows you’re spoiled, Landon.” I start to punch his shoulder but stop when I realize what will happen.

  He reaches out so fast I don’t have time to react and he takes my hand.

  Panic. Anger. Steven’s running. Landon’s running. I’m on the edge of the woods with someone in a dark hoodie. A creek in front of me. Tons of students are there.

  I jerk away. “I was trying to avoid that.” I breathe out as the picture floods me again. I close my eyes. It scares me, but I don’t even know what it means.

  “Did something change?” He’s voice is suddenly full of concern.

  I push down the fear that’s starting to well up with the vision I just saw. Maybe it isn’t worth being close to people. I’ve gotten this same thing from too many places. I just need to keep my voice even. Just keep it even. I should be able to tell him. But what good would that even do? I don’t know when or how or IF this will even happen. All I’d do is worry another person, and make someone else feel as helpless as I do.

  My body starts to shake at the thought of me being chased, at the expression on Mr. Michaels’ face as he scanned the trees, at the flickers of movement I’m sure I’m seeing out here.

  “You were telling me something.” I open my eyes, hoping he goes back to his train of thought.

  He doesn’t say anything. Just looks at me, brows pulled down. He’s worried. About me.

  “It’s fine. I mean. It’s just fine.” I shake my head and stare at my feet.

  “Micah.” He steps toward me, resting his hand on my shoulder.

  I jump when the picture of him running toward me, hits me again.

  “What is it?” His face is inches from mine. “You’re shaking.”

  “Nothing.”

  “Dammit, Micah. It’s not nothing.” His face is inches from mine.

  “It’s all fine. It just surprised me, that’s all.” I force a smile. “Sorry. I’m good.”

  He stares at me for a moment longer, which makes me know he probably doesn’t believe me. Fortunately, he continues. “So, the Lacey thing is happening tomorrow night.” He pulls me closer, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

  He might even still be worried about me.

  “Oh.” I don’t want to think about Lacey, not around him. It’s just a reminder of a guilt we share, only he doesn’t know we’re sharing it. Because I’m a big coward and can’t say anything. “You miss her.”

  “I do. But not like you think. I liked her, Micah. She was a friend. A really, really, good friend. It’s just the guilt.” He forces out a breath. “But you already know that part.”

  But, what would you think if you knew I saw it, Landon? How mad would you be? How hurt? Maybe I can tell him tomorrow on the way to school.

  I slide my hands around his neck and lean up to him. Maybe our lips together will help me breathe again.

  He kisses me so deeply that I can’t think about anything but him. The warmth. Our bodies pressed together. This is the perfect distraction from…well, everything.

  “Hey you two!” I hear Mom’s voice as the door opens.

  Landon jumps away from me. “Hi, Ms. Parson. I was just dropping in to say hi.”

  She laughs. “It looks like you dropped in for a kiss. It’s nice to see you, Landon. You really should call me Beth.” She looks between us. “I’ll give you two some privacy, but it’s getting late, Micah.” She lets the door close behind her.

  “Your mom’s okay with this?”

  “She’s happy because I’m happy, and she likes you.” I slide off the bed of the truck and start to the door.

  “Wait.” He starts to reach out for me, and then stops.

  I turn toward him when I’m on the small porch.

  “You know, I feel kinda bad just reaching out to touch you, now that I know what it does.”

  “It’s okay.” I lean against the screen door, really hoping for the scary vision of us on the bed rather than the scarier vision of him running toward me—I wish I was still getting our kiss. “I’m used to it. It just doesn’t always look like it.”

  “I want to hug you or kiss you or something before I go home, even though your mom’s still freaking me out a little.” His weight shifts from side to side a few times as he stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets.

  I can’t imagine why my mom would freak him out.

  “Do you want to touch me or...” he trails off.

  I close my eyes. “I trust you. Touch me.” And I don’t want him to think anything is weird with me, so I’m braced and ready.

  “You are totally in love with me.” The fun side of him is back. “You just don’t know it yet.” And then I feel his lips on mine. The picture is of us in my room, and it only intensifies what would be an intense moment on its own. Landon doesn’t just kiss me. It’s like he’s soaking up every part of it, moving slowly, softly, without rushing, but also without hesitation.

  “Goodnight,” I say when we finally pull away, amazed that my brain works well enough for vocal thought.

  “Watch out for the ghosts in the woods.” He chuckles.

  Ghosts. I lose my breath and nearly crumple at my doorstep. My whole body shakes. “See you.” I step inside and close the door between us. Hopefully he’s turned away and doesn’t think I’m crazy.

  Ghosts in the woods.

  My heart’s racing, and the living room is fuzzy as I walk through. I don’t turn the light on in my room when I walk in because I don’t want anyone, or anything, to see in. I feel like an idiot, but I’m also too scared to feel like an idiot as I start to crawl across the floor. That’s it. That’s gotta be it, right? Ghosts in the woods.

  Lacey.

  I sit at the foot of my bed and stare out the window. Nothing. No movement, no shadows, no ghosts… But I’m becoming more certain that I saw something out there earlier. No way that was my imagination. Not more than once.

  And since our stupid project has kept that idea in my head, I haven’t thought about other explanations. But this one fits, too.

  The only thought rolling through my head is that she knows. Lacey’s out there and knows I could have saved her. She knows I should tell Landon. And I know I’m talking about things that don’t exist, things that don’t happen. But how many people have visions they can’t control? That doesn’t exist either, right? I can’t get enough air, and my heart can’t keep its frenzied rhythm forever. What am I going to do?

  EIGHTEEN

  It’s early. Landon hasn’t come to get me for school, and won’t, not for a while. Mom’s still asleep. I slide on my running shoes and step into the cold morning. The light is dim, but the sun is nearly up. Even on th
is spring day, I can see my breath as I step off the driveway into the woods.

  My heart sprints, and as quiet as I’m trying to be, I can’t make myself breathe normal. I’m not crazy. I saw something, and I’m suddenly determined to see it again. Seeing it again, in the light, will help me know that I’m not crazy, or kill me with a heart attack. If I don’t see anything, I may be in need of some medication and a possible institution. If I do… I guess it means something’s out here watching me. A chill jerks its way up my spine.

  I walk slowly. One step. Another step. Now I get why the girl in the horror movie goes up the stairs. She can’t help it. She’s practically pulled there by a combination of stupidity and curiosity. I scan the trees with my eyes. Another step. Another scan. I need to see something. I need to know I’m not crazy. And I can’t believe I’m alone in the woods wishing to see something that shouldn’t be here.

  Shadows determined to find their gifted descendants and do…what? I don’t want to know. Or Lacey, stalking, watching, waiting. When will I know? And the worse thought is—how will I find out?

  Movement on my left. I snap my head, squint my eyes and stare. I start to move that direction. My head is screaming for me to turn and run. Run back to the house. Run back to safety. But I can’t. I have to know. “Where are you?” It comes out in a rush of breath.

  There’s a shadow pressed against one of the larger trees. I squint and run toward it. I swear the shadow moves. Is it just a normal shadow that’s moving because I’m moving?

  No. A form takes shape. Almost person-like, but black, transparent. My adrenaline is pumping and my legs are pushing, needing to see more clearly needing to know. I stop when I’m completely out of breath—near the water. Whatever was running in front of me, or with me, has disappeared. I’m both terrified and relieved. And too in shock to internalize.

  “Please leave me alone.” I sit on the forest floor. “Lacey. I’ll tell him. I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, leave me alone.” I’m out of breath from running in the woods, and I’m talking to someone or something that may or may not be here.

  “And if you’re a shadow, and you’re here because you think I’m talented. I’m not. It’s a glitch, not a talent, and it sucks.” I’m still gasping for air after my run.

  And this pretty much solidifies it, but doesn’t answer my question. I am completely insane, or I’m being stalked. Both options are terrifying.

  ***

  “You ready?” Landon calls from my hallway.

  “Be out in a sec!”

  But there is no way to express how much I don’t want to go. Right now I’m not even sure if I want to leave my house. I know I saw something in the woods. I know it ran from me, or moved from me, and I know that I don’t want to think or talk about Lacey ever again. There’s also the matter of the bizarre panic/anger vision I’ve now gotten from Brigitte, Landon and Steven, which involves me. I slide the tiny pepper spray Dad got me into my hoodie pocket, and step out of my room.

  Landon’s waiting in the hallway—lightweight jacket, simple tee, nice jeans. His white smile and happy face is for me. It’s certainly not for what we’re doing tonight.

  “Come on, Micah. Tonight is the party. The fun part of Lacey’s whole mess, okay? I need this.”

  Of course he does. Him more than anyone. What he should be saying is that I didn’t know her. I shouldn’t have this sad, hesitant face for someone I hardly knew. Landon doesn’t know that he, Lacey, and I are connected in this weird way, and it’s either her ghost or something else that shouldn’t be here, somewhere in the woods outside my house.

  We step outside together, and as much as I want to kiss him, I’m not sure I’m ready to touch him—mostly since I don’t know which picture I’ll see.

  The sun’s going down, but it’s still light and I very purposefully stare at the ground.

  “You, okay?” he asks as he opens my door for me. Amazing how fast I got used to riding around in Landon’s shiny car.

  “Yeah. Just…a lot of people I don’t know.”

  He laughs. Laughs. “You’ll be fine, Micah.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  He does his signature Landon shrug, closes my door, and jumps in his side. He touches my cheek, and I close my eyes. The picture of us so close, bodies together, still scares and excites me at the same time, and I’m already on edge. Not that seeing us that close doesn’t put me on edge as well. It’s just a whole different kind of fear as the fear I get from the shapes moving in the woods.

  “Tell me,” he whispers through his soft laugh.

  “You’re making me hang with Josh and Cameron tonight, am I right?” I let my eyes find his.

  “Point made.” He smiles widely again, puts his car in reverse and we head out.

  ***

  The bonfire is high and the mood is as light as Landon promised. There’s a creek and a large sandbar here that flows into the ocean. Tables and park benches are scattered around a large fire, and Landon’s body is pressed to mine as we sit. There are probably fifty or so people from our school. Everyone’s jumping into the water, laughing, running, sitting… The sun’s down and the light comes from the fire and the last bits of light after sunset. I have to just watch it all with detachment. Feeling this moment doesn’t seem like an option.

  And it hits me. The setting. Whatever happens to me, happens here. Maybe Lacey’s ghost drags me into the woods or something. I grab my stomach as it flips over.

  “What about Josh?” Landon leans over and whispers.

  Perfect. Distraction. He wants to know what I see, and that seems like a much better thing to think about than trying to figure out or stop something that’s so vague. “Josh is easy. Football, porn and beer. That’s all I’ve ever seen from him.” I chuckle a little because it’s so much better to concentrate on this than on Lacey.

  “Well, I could have told you that. Good thing we didn’t start with him, or I’d have never believed you.” He touches his nose to my cheek.

  “Very funny.”

  “It’s true.” He leans away and then takes my hand. Playing with me again.

  Panic. Anger. He’s running toward me. Steven’s running. Someone’s next to me. I’m in the woods on the other side of the creek.

  I suck in a breath.

  “Please tell me,” he whispers in my ear.

  Lisa sits across from us on the park table. Perfect timing. I’m saved once again from Landon’s persistence. She at least looks at me this time, without her scowl.

  “Nope,” I say, smiling sideways at Landon. Good save, Micah. Only now I know I just need to stay on this side of the creek, and everything will be fine.

  “How about her?” His voice is so soft I can barely make out the words.

  I cross my legs under the table and purposefully bump into her. It’s Josh. He’s kissing her.

  “Excuse you, Landon.” Lisa kicks him back underneath the table.

  I stifle a laugh.

  It’s warm out, Landon keeps his hands on me, and I haven’t touched anyone I didn’t want to. Maybe this is all okay, but my nerves are still all hyped up from the surroundings.

  Josh jumps onto the bench next to Lisa and she feeds him a hotdog. He eats it with the amount of obnoxious enthusiasm I expect from him.

  My foot brushes his as I re-cross my legs, and I see him kiss Lisa from his perspective. He really likes her.

  I catch Landon’s eyes and then look back and forth between Lisa and Josh.

  “What?” he asks. “Them?” He shakes his head. He doesn’t believe me. I don’t know how that’s possible—Josh is eating from her hands—but maybe that’s a normal thing.

  “Okay, how are you guys even talking?” Josh laughs through a mouthful.

  “We’re not.” Landon grabs me and kisses me, mouth wide open. It’s something I’d expect from Josh, but I love the attention anyway.

  “Okay.” I shove him away, but I’m immediately sorry knowing we’ll have to make contact again.
>
  “So this.” Josh points between us, an eyebrow cocked. “Going on long?”

  “Long enough.” Landon’s hand squeezes mine.

  “All right,” Josh says. “I’m bored. No alcohol. Let’s play Landon’s favorite game. What would you do if you had three million dollars?” He laughs so loud that I can see the food in his mouth.

  “Three?” I put my elbows on the table. “That’s sort of an arbitrary number isn’t it?”

  “Ask Landon.” Josh kicks him under the table.

  Landon’s looking down like he doesn’t want to talk. “You’re such a prick, Josh.”

  “I don’t get it,” I say.

  Josh’s face is still full of laughter. Landon’s fighting not to be angry. I can hear him trying to take slow breaths next to me, and he’s silent and unmoving. Both are rare for him. And all of this is great. This is the kind of playful conversation I’ve longed for, and I’m right in the middle of this moment. I just can’t let myself think about the girl that brought me here.

  “It’s Landon’s money.” Lisa rolls her eyes, like how could I not know this.

  “Three million?” My breath catches. If I lived carefully I could live on three million dollars my whole life. When he said money, nothing like three million ever crossed my mind.

  “It’s stupid.” Landon shakes his head and sits back in his seat. He actually looks down. How can you feel down when you’re reminded that you’ll probably never have to worry about money, ever?

  “Landon, you can be such a weirdo.” Lisa takes a bite of bread.

  I decide to answer, to take the focus off of him. My fingers tighten around his. “I’d travel,” I say. I’m holding in my shock at the amount pretty well. “I’d see everything, live in cheap hotels, do whatever it takes to see as much of the world as I could. Maybe do it on a boat.” I smile and tip Landon’s leg with my knee.

  “You’re a few kinds of awesome, you know that?” He puts his hand under my chin and kisses me.

  “You two are going to make me gag.” Josh kicks him under the table again.

  “It’s good for you.” Landon laughs and kisses me again. “Take notes, Josh. This is how to be a nice guy.”