Manipulation (Shadows) Page 20

  She glances around, a little at me, the ground, up the street. I guess she’s right, in that last night wasn’t all my fault, but right now it sort of feels like it is.

  “Okay.” I swallow. Bile from my empty stomach is creeping up. There are a lot of ways to feel horrible, and I’m pretty much wearing them all.

  * * *

  Close to dinner and we haven’t said a word aside from necessities, which she won’t look at me for. I’m not sure if she’s being over-dramatic, or if she just really needs some quiet. Either way, it makes me feel like shit. I’ve eaten a muffin and a bag of Doritos all day. That’s it.

  The late afternoon sun is simply a reminder that we’ll need to find somewhere to be soon. It feels like this running and searching will never be over. No one yet has heard of the boat. They should definitely be here by now. Unless they ran into some of the same problems as we did and weren’t able to get away. I get weak at that thought. If I didn’t love Addie so much, I’d just let them take me.

  Whoa. I stop, letting her walk further ahead of me.

  I love Addie?

  I love Addie.

  I stare at her as we walk on the sand. There’s a faint smile on her lips as she looks out at the water. Addie in my hat, her hair falling out and around her face is about the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

  “Addison, this isn’t how I wanted things between us to be.” I’m about four steps behind her.

  “Yeah. It feels weird, and I don’t like it.” She sighs.

  “Addison, I’ve been sorry since the minute I realized what an ass I was.” How could she now see this? Not know this? “Do you remember when we talked on graduation night? And I told you I never drink? Last night is why. I don’t want to be that guy, not with you.” I reach out to touch her face, but there’s so much sadness there that I feel like it’s not my place to touch her. My hand drops back to my side.

  “But you were and it was the first time around you that I didn’t feel…” She stops and bites her lip. “It was the first time that I felt like just another girl. You’ve never made me feel like just another girl.”

  I look down at my feet. “I’m sorry.”

  “I was there, too. Messing it up, too.” I can see tears brimming in her eyes. This sucks. “It’s just that after Chase, and things being so different with us, and then it didn’t feel special with you anymore, and I hated that. I also think I’m rambling again.” She pushes out a chuckle. “I’m sure you think I’m acting like a spoiled brat or something.”

  “No. It’s…” But I don’t know what else to say.

  “Just… I know it might be weird, but I need a few more minutes of quiet, okay?” Her voice ends in that horrible whiny voice girls do when they’re trying not to cry.

  “Okay.” I stand still and let her walk ahead. “We’re taking the ferry across, right up here, right?”

  She nods in response.

  It feels like I’m being ripped apart from the inside. I don’t want to let her go. I never want to let her go. Half of me gets why she needs the quiet, and the other half of me is going insane.

  THIRTY-THREE

  Addison

  The warm Carolina wind tears my eyes up. Or maybe I tear my eyes up. I cross my legs on the bench of the ferry as I feel the boat plow through the water. We’re nearing the end of our journey. I’m sure of it. Cape Fear is on the other side of this ride.

  Or maybe we’re nearing something that feels like the end but is really the beginning. There’s peace out on the water that I haven’t felt in a long time, and I find myself hoping that we end up on their boat. Whoever they are. Landon and Micah. People with faces and names and the idea that they’ll somehow be able to protect us—or at least give us some answers.

  My thoughts wander back to Dean. It’s a horrible sinking that comes with feeling like no one, after feeling like someone for so long. That’s what’s killing me more than anything else. Our day of quiet in the sun, on the beach, has helped me clear my head. How was I any different with him than when I was with Chase? The answer is that I’m guilty too, and I want to make sure it never happens again. I’m so glad, so relieved, that things didn’t go any further than they did. And I’m glad he didn’t just walk away with how crazy I’m sure I seem today.

  I see Dean’s shape out of the corner of my eye. He sits as close as he can without touching me. “I’m going crazy here, Addie.”

  “How so?” I don’t look at him. I look out at the water. His eyes burn into me though. See through me the way they always do.

  “How can you ask that? I’ve screwed up with the only girl that I’ve ever loved. You needing quiet scares me. I wanna fix it.”

  My tears spill over. Tears of happiness that he cares so much, of fear, of missing my family… It’s too much.

  “I just want you to know how I feel. Will you relax and let me take your hand? I need you to know how I feel right now.” He’s leaning toward me but careful not to get too close.

  My eyes close. I start to reach over and he presses our hands together, palm to palm. Just like every time, I feel his thoughts and I let him in. He’s sad, overwhelmed and loves me. No doubt. If I think letting him in makes me vulnerable, I can’t imagine how he feels right now, and now I feel awful for needing quiet all day. What about what Dean needed today? It’s not like any of this is easy for him. He had to leave his brother behind just after finding him. And now I’m crazy and he’s stuck with me.

  I lean forward, keeping my eyes closed, keeping my fingers tightly clasped in his. “Start over?”

  “Addie…” I’m sorry.

  “I know.” I’m so sorry, too. It was both of us. And I know it seems like I’m overreacting today, but I’m reacting to everything that’s going on right now, not just you. My life, my dad, my sister, the shadows, everything that happened with Chase, the people we’re trying to find…

  I get it. “Nothing happens between us until you want it to. Nothing.”

  I know without opening my eyes, the way he’s looking at me.

  “I will do anything, I…”

  I open my eyes. “I trust you, Dean.” It’s taken me all day to figure this out. Well, it’s taken me since we met to figure out that he’s worth it. And maybe Dean doesn’t understand that I sometimes need quiet to work things out, but hopefully he’ll trust me to be okay on the days when I do.

  “I love you, Addie.” He starts to lean toward me, but stops.

  “I’m sorry for today. It won’t happen again.” I lean in the rest of the way, wrap my arms around his back and press our lips together before resting my head on his shoulder. The sun’s going down, which I don’t want to think about and really, it’s pretty ideal. Better than rooftops or New York City streets. Better than anything. “I love you, too.”

  * * *

  We slide our hands together as we walk down the ramp from the ferry. It’s getting dark because we’ve spent all day walking instead of driving. Our change is at the last hotel. If my guess is right, we have just over a thousand left. Maybe. We need to find the boat or find a hotel and we need to do it soon.

  “Hey, Bunny?” Dad calls from where he’s standing just at the bottom of the passenger ramp—his hands in his pockets, and shirt-sleeves rolled as always.

  My heart stops and I’m shaking, just like that. Dean’s arm comes around me. He’s trying to tell me he’ll protect me, but he doesn’t know Dad. He doesn’t know how powerful my dad is. In everything. All this running and we’ve lost. He has us.

  I’m papery again, my body’s threatening to tear apart and blow away. We stop as the other passenger’s from the ferry move and walk around us on the small sidewalk. There’s a railing before the ocean on our left and a parking lot to the right. Where Dad is.

  We really have nowhere to go. We’re too close. He starts in sign language. I love you, two. He signs. It was a mix-up from when I was a kid. We’d learned sign language for my granddad, the one who loved music and slowly went deaf. My dad used to tease that i
t was because of the music.

  We’d always sign I love you to Granddad and Dad finally asked someone to show him a few things. The lady teaching him thought he meant the number two, not “too.”

  My heart warms.

  Dad’s about a hundred feet away, standing next to a car. He makes no move to come my direction.

  I open my mouth to say something. It takes a few tries to get anything out. “I heard you on the phone.” The memory is so sharp. Me shaking in the kitchen, Ellie’s crying face, my trip through New York for Dean. The horrible feeling of betrayal slides its way to the surface.

  Dean’s arm is around me. We should run.

  I can’t. I know we should run, but Dad’s here.

  “I’m so sorry, Bunny.” His eyes don’t leave mine.

  “I can’t trust you, Dad.” I shake my head.

  “You won’t make it to Micah and Landon if you don’t.” He puts his hands in his pockets. Like to show that he’s not after us. “Well, you might. But I can help you.”

  “Why would you help me do that?” My whole body wants to trust him. He’s Dad. It would make everything better. No betrayal, just Dad. Maybe our family could be normal. Maybe he could protect me. There’s a part of me that’s screaming for this.

  “Because Landon is the only one who can help you get out of this mess, if that’s what you want.” He looks from me to Dean and back to me again.

  I know I shouldn’t believe him, logic tells me that he’s tricking me, that I should run but instead I feel my feet carrying me toward him.

  “Addie…” Dean’s moving more slowly that I am, still unsure.

  I squeeze his hand. “It’s okay.”

  Are you sure?

  No. I’m not sure at all.

  “I drive.” Dean’s voice is loud next to mine.

  “We’re running out of daylight fast.” Dad opens the backdoor of the car and climbs in. “Everyone works better in the dark but you two. We don’t have much time.” He sits down and shuts the door, waiting.

  What do we do? Dean asks.

  Let’s drive. Only I’m not at all sure if this is what we should do. Is my hope for my dad clouding out everything else?

  Okay.

  I run around the car to jump in the passenger’s side. Dean climbs in the driver’s seat. Please let me not have just led us into a trap. Please let my dad be good—better than I always thought he was.

  “Take a right out of the parking lot here.” Dad points.

  The ground is low lying and flat. The grass is tall and still. There’s not a breath of moving air out here.

  “Dad, what’s going on?” I’m desperate for answers. Anything. Any information that will feel like my fear and our running has had a purpose.

  “How did you know to leave?” he asks back.

  “I told you. I heard you on the phone.” I don’t want to think about that night. Not again. Not right now. It wasn’t just my dad’s voice. I just knew. Just like I knew I needed to save money, and like I knew I needed Dean.

  He nods. “Landon is a rare talent. He’ll take good care of you.”

  “What are you talking about?” The whole thing is a mess, I feel like no part of my world is or was ever part of my world. Like it was all some big joke, game, fake…

  “He creates something protective… I don’t understand it, and I’ve never seen anything like it. He’s doing something so we can’t find them, not easily. He probably does other things, too. I’m not sure.” Dad snorts once. “I’m not even sure that he’s aware of it.”

  “What does that mean?” We might not have much time but we need information.

  “Like your talent, Bunny, and Dean’s.” Dad’s eyes flash from mine to the back of Dean’s head.

  “But who’s after us?” I’m half turned in my chair. I need something from my dad. Information.

  “The Middlemen. It’s like recruitment for…”

  “But why are you part of this!” I scream from the front seat.

  Dean’s hand reaches out and rests on my thigh.

  “Because my mother worked for them, as someone with Manipulation…like you. And like me. But the thing is… The thing is that they’ve changed, warped over time, and you deserve a choice, and they’re not what they used to be.”

  I gasp. Okay, that wasn’t expected. Only the sound of the engine and the tires on the narrow paved road make any noise.

  Dad sits in the backseat, his hands in his lap. He looks so calm. He shouldn’t be looking so calm. Every new idea is bursting around inside me and I can’t even formulate what else to ask right now.

  Dean continues to drive down a road with nothing but tall grass on both sides. As I spin my head from side to side, I can’t see anything and I’m starting to panic. Where is he taking us? Is it over? What will they do? Who are they?

  “Where are we?” My voice is shaking and catch Dad’s eyes. There’s more sorrow there and real emotion than I’ve ever seen. Is it because he’s about to bring us in?

  “We’re okay,” he says. “But not for much longer.”

  And I have to believe him. If I don’t, the few remaining shreds of my world will shatter, crumble, fall apart. “Bunny, talents aren’t always passed down. I joined the Middle Men very young, about sixteen, and requested to work indirectly for them, knowing my abilities would fade. They were warped even then, but I was too excited to see it until it was too late. Remaining with them seemed like the best way to watch out for you, to protect you. It’s not like you can just walk away once they bring you in.”

  “And they just take people? With talents?” The knife has settled in my chest, it moves and scrapes as I speak and as realizations slowly start coming in.

  “Some work for us very willingly. But it’s not a choice thing. We can offer protection.” He glances around. “Stop here.”

  What does he mean, not a choice thing? Protection from what?

  “Where are we?” Dean looks around. I bet his heart’s beating as frantic as mine. He’s just way better at hiding it.

  “There’s a shortcut to the harbor you need on that path to the left. There are Middle Men everywhere, Addie. You and Dean are valuable, but Landon and Micah… You need to watch yourself. They can protect you, but they’re very sought after.”

  Chills run through me, but they’re not the chills of the shadow people, they’re the chills of shock.

  “I don’t understand how you could do this to people, Dad. Why didn’t you just quit?” You can’t just go around forcing people to do things for you.

  “No quitting. And no more time for explanations, Bunny. Get out.” His voice is the harsh, gruff voice I’m used to when Dad isn’t happy about something.

  “What happens to the people who refuse to work for them?” The answers are right in front of me. I just don’t want to see it. “What do you offer protection from?” I suck in a ragged breath.

  “Protection from… I’m not sure anymore.” Dad scratches his head, breaking his stare.

  “Addie.” Dean stands up, our packs under his arm. He knows I need answers, but he also knows we need to go.

  I climb out and immediately search Dad’s face again.

  “I did it to protect you, Bunny.” He pulls out a few small rolls of bills and tosses them to me. Three rolls of hundreds. “Now run. Fast.”

  “Addie.” Dean’s on the edge of the trail through the grass, his wide eyes scanning around us frantically. I turn and start toward him but stop.

  “Wait. What will happen to you, Dad? What if they find out you helped us get away?” But I know. I already know. An organization as secret as his… If I thought my heart was beating fast before, it’s nothing compared to what it’s doing now. And I feel like I’ll break again, right here.

  I run to Dad and throw my arms around him. He holds me harder than he ever has. This almost-stranger who’s giving his life for me. “Love you, Bunny. Go.” He lets go of me and half pushes me toward Dean.

  He’s in the driver’s seat of t
he car and gone before I can form another coherent thought. I’m never going to see my father again. My legs almost collapse underneath me. He finally shows interest and the gesture is almost too big for me to comprehend.

  “Addie. Shadows. We gotta go.” Dean’s voice is desperate.

  Our hands lace together, and I blindly follow Dean. My legs feel numb, but they’re moving, running. My heart’s racing, tears are streaming down my face. Dad… A chill passes through me and snaps me to the urgency of our situation. I force my legs to push harder.

  I grasp Dean’s hand and we run. Hard. Harder. I can feel the presence of the shadow people running through me despite the ninety-degree weather. The blackness feels like it’s closing in around us. I haven’t eaten. My dad. My dad…

  Why did this have to happen? What’s the purpose of what I can do if this is what it brings me? Everything’s blurry. My face is wet from tears. We’re running through the grass. It feels like the cold. The chills are following us, pressing in on almost all sides, but we keep running, we have to be close, please let them be there. I can see light ahead. My dad, my sister, my home… It’s all gone. Gone.

  I stumble once and everything goes black.

  THIRTY-FOUR

  Dean

  I can see the harbor now. I’m still running, Addie in my arms. I’m not even sure I need to be running at this point, but I do. As I get closer to the boats, there’s a tall metal fence and locked doors to get onto the docks. I start to walk, looking to the left, looking for the couple in the dark. There are too many shadows and too much darkness for me to even begin to look for them… The shadow people. I’m sure they’re everywhere, stalking our movements. But I don’t feel their cold airy arms on me. The only thing I care about is the girl passed out in my arms, and finding a way to make her safe.

  “Addie?” She’s starting to get heavy. I’m so completely not qualified to take care of her like this. It’s freaking me out, her passed out in my arms.

  “I’m Landon.” I hear a voice to my left. And there he is, the guy we saw in New York. The guy we ran from. His hands are in the air.