Falling Read online

When we step inside, my house is quiet. The kitchen is a mess from renovations, and the furniture is all pushed against one side of the living room for the flooring guys. A construction mess. Leann is gone like I knew she would be. One obstacle down. I’m not sure what the other obstacles are—or if there are any.

  Maybe there are none, and we’re just here, alone together. I’ve already made this decision, right? By asking him to drive with me, in my car. And he sort of made the decision too, by agreeing to the same thing.

  We stand facing one another in the living room—maybe a foot between us.

  “You have a pillow or something? I can crash out here.” But he’s standing too close to me when he asks. Even though I can his breath touches my face, he feels too far away. I can’t answer him, all I can think about is needing his lips on mine. The knot that’s been at the pit of my stomach since we left his work is lower, and I want to know how he’s going to feel against me, on me, in me…

  Nerves start dancing in my gut as I reach my arms around his neck and pull us together because I’m normally more careful than this. Slower.

  But as soon as his lips find mine, and my hands find his hard sides, and he presses his hips against my hips, I’m done for. We stumble into my bedroom while my lips keep finding his, and his neck and his shoulders.

  “We’re doing this, right?” he asks as we pause.

  “Definitely.” Holy shit I’ve never gone this fast. Never gone all the way with someone I barely knew.

  But this is what my adventure year off is supposed to be about. Independence. Strength. Fun.

  “How’s your side?” He kisses down my neck and slides his hands under my shirt. “Only been a few weeks, right?”

  “Right.” I gasp as his hands unclasp my bra. “Sore.”

  “You’ll have to tell me if I hurt you, because I’m not thinking straight right now.”

  No asking or being careful.

  Despite a few minor fumblings, we’re naked by the time we hit the bed.

  It’s not just sex. It’s everything. He explores every part of my body, which means I explore every delicious part of his. We can’t get enough of each other, and he just keeps going. A bit of toe-curling, can’t-be-quiet, amazingness.

  Better than I thought it would be, and I thought he would be incredible.

  I can’t very well ask him to leave when we’re done, hours later, but I roll over to my side of the bed so I can sleep because I don’t like sharing. I need my space. It hits me again what I’ve just done, and I don’t know if I should be shocked or proud of myself for letting go and jumping in.

  His fingertips slide up my side, and down my hip, under my breasts, across my abs and back. Not for too long. Just long enough for me to relax, and long enough to know I want to do this again.

  “Thanks,” I whisper. “Now stay on your side of the bed.”

  He chuckles quietly before kissing my shoulder. “Anything you want.”

  Again. That sounds pretty perfect.

  Unexpected Offers

  We wake early, and I wonder how he was able to stay here last night, or if the situation with his wife is disintegrated to the point it doesn’t matter. A twinge of guilt slides in, but he did spend the night, and there were no odd phone calls. He interrupts my train of thought.

  “So I was thinking last night.”

  “Oh yeah?” I smile.

  “Yeah.” He looks straight at me, and I’m once again eating up his confidence. “Anyway, I have a good friend, a nice guy who runs a lodge where I go almost every week for snowmachining.”

  “Okay.” I have no idea where this is going, but his excitement is contagious.

  “His little sister and weird neighbor help him out a bit, but I know his sister was dragged back to Juneau by their parents. This leaves him in need of help and a room to spare. The place isn’t great, but you’d definitely be safe out there and… Well, I might be able to see you a bit. You know, maybe get a little more alone time with you.” He leans in toward me and kisses me softly on the neck. His stubble from the day before sends tingles down my spine.

  “You know I could probably just live at the Captain Cook Hotel. Massages and room service…” I don’t want to sound too interested even though I’m thrilled he’s looking for ways to be with me.

  He continues kissing down my neck. “You could.”

  His warm breath slides across my shoulders and then his lips start to make their way back toward my mouth.

  “But,” he says between kisses, “if you were to go up there, we might get a little more of this.” He kisses me deeply as he rolls on top of me. His arms push him up, teasing me by keeping himself out of reach but our faces close. “And you’d still be making money. Not wasting it on massages I could do for free…” His lips brush across mine, and then my cheek and under my ear.

  “Okay.” I’m breathless, and ready to do anything he asks. “Yeah, snowmachine lodge, I can do that. I guess it would be nice to be out of town for a while anyway.” It feels like the perfect solution. I’ll be out of town and still within occasional reach of Craig. I also won’t have to go home. I’m not an idiot, whatever is happening between us is not a permanent thing, and it’s better for it. I’m not ready to let him go though, not after last night.

  The One Where I Feel Like I’m Living in HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE When He Takes That Girl to That Lodge

  I take my helmet off and a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach tells me I’ve made a terrible mistake. This is not at all what I was expecting.

  The place is a dump. It should definitely not be called a lodge. It should be burned to the ground so someone could start over.

  The main lodge building is old, painted blue, and not nearly as big as I was thinking. It’s like a very large, square, two-story house surrounded by run-down smaller buildings that the owner probably tries to pass off as “cozy cabins.”

  We’re two hours away from civilization, and we couldn’t even drive the car here. The last ten miles were done on snowmachine. This is insane.

  My heart starts pounding—what have I gotten into?

  Craig’s friends yell something to him and then take off down the hill on their machines.

  “Don’t worry,” Craig says as he slaps me gently on the back. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” He’s smiling, obviously excited to be here.

  “Yeah.” It’s better than waiting around at home for Matt Workman to show up again. Maybe.

  “Oh, one more thing.” Craig turns.

  “Yeah?” Nothing would surprise me right now.

  Craig leans over and talks quietly. “His wife left him sometime last spring. I wouldn’t bring it up.”

  “Okay.” That’s easy. I look around—not hard to understand why she took off. Whoever owns this place is probably as old as the buildings, and maybe just as crazy as this situation.

  Jason, the owner, is not as old as the buildings. He might be a few years older than me, and a few years younger than Craig. If I could see him underneath his shaggy, dark curly hair, and ridiculous beard, he might even be decent looking, but I can’t. He’s got a nice body, surprisingly expensive jeans, and some old school Asics. I’m surprised, but the whole hairy Alaskan man thing is exactly what I expected. Just his age has thrown me.

  “Jason. Good to see you, man.” Craig shakes his hand, and still Jason’s eyes float between the two of us a few too many times to be casual.

  Uneasiness begins pooling in my gut, and I’m starting to think I’m screwed somehow.

  JASON

  Holy Hell, this has to go on the list of LAST things I need right now

  I freeze when I step around the corner from the kitchen into the dining area. My heart starts a frantic rhythm over a girl. An obviously spoiled, way over-dressed for an Alaskan lodge, rich girl. I wonder if she has any idea how she’s going to stick out up here.

  As she shrugs off her coat, and throws Craig a smile with a perfect set of teeth, I’m guessing she likes standing out. She’s
pale, tall, lithe, moves almost like a dancer. This is not what I signed up for. Well, I didn’t sign up for anything—they just showed up.

  “Jason!” Craig smiles his cocky asshole smile. “Good to see you, man.”

  He reaches for my hand, and I take it.

  “This is Dana. The witness I was telling you about.”

  The moment Craig’s eyes slide back toward her, I know. So obvious. Asshole. And this time he’s bringing me into it. Wonder if he hooked up with this girl before or after she became a witness?

  She reaches her hand out, and it takes everything in me to shake it. I know it’s a dick move, but I don’t look at her and stare at Craig instead.

  “I’m Jason.”

  “We’re all set up, right?” Craig asks.

  “Yeah.” I clear my throat and take a glance at the girl again. High cheekbones, smooth skin, silk hair. I do not need someone this distracting here. I check her hands. Manicure. She’s probably never worked a day in her life. This is definitely not what I need.

  “So… my stuff?” she asks.

  If I had to guess, I’d say she’s a bit thrown being out here as well. Maybe she’ll hate it enough to go away.

  “My sister’s room is up the stairs. Last room on the left.” I turn back to Craig. He’s got to know I’m not happy about this.

  “Why don’t you go check it out, and I’ll bring your bags in a sec, okay?” Craig rests a hand on her shoulder briefly before letting his arm drop. Her jaw sets for a moment in a look I recognize from Justine—like she’s about to protest because we all know she’s being dismissed so he can talk to me.

  Her eyes shift to me briefly before she turns and walks upstairs.

  I want to scream at the guy. Instead I ask, “How’s Taylor?”

  I swear he winces because I don’t even try to keep my voice quiet.

  “Fine. She’s fine. Working. Playing with the kids. You know.” He shrugs.

  No more playing around. “Look, Craig, I appreciate that you’re trying to help this very young, very beautiful girl in a scary situation, but—”

  “And Jason, I’m also grateful that you’re willing to help this girl who found herself in a scary situation.” Craig totally expects me to go along with him. The part of this that’s total shit is that he expects me to go along with it because we’re family, but he brought a girl up here and my cousin is his wife. Stupid ass.

  “She’s a witness in a big case.” I knew he’d pull this. “The defendant followed her to work. He has to know where she lives.”

  And he knows this is what’ll get me. I almost joined up with the FBI. Actually worked as a campus cop to put myself through Yale. “Craig, you know what it’s like out here on the weekends. It’s crazy. I need someone who can handle that.”

  Craig doesn’t even pause. “She can handle it.”

  “How do you know?” I fold my arms.

  “I just know. Okay?” His voice is petulant. I swear the prick never left middle school.

  “Fine, fine.” I wave him off and head back toward the kitchen. I need a beer. “But I’m serious, Craig. If she can’t keep up, I can’t afford to let her have the room.”

  “You know I can hear everything you’re saying, right?” the girl yells down. “I graduated from Northwestern. It wasn’t easy. I’ve worked at five-star restaurants in downtown St. Louis as well as Evanston. I think I can handle a rush of smelly, hairy guys on a stop for cheeseburgers and pizza.”

  Craig laughs hard. “Well, Dana, you’re in good company. Jason down here graduated from Yale, was accepted to Oxford and ended up in this dump as well!” He clearly thinks the whole thing is hilarious. “Though, I’d guess you won’t be stuck here for as long.”

  Why does Craig insist on bringing this up every chance he gets? I didn’t end up out here, I chose it, and I’d choose it again after spending four years around people like Dana.

  I pop the top off my beer and turn to face Craig. “I’m guessing I’ll be seeing you on your days off next week?”

  “You guess right, my good man.” Craig backs up toward the stairs. “I’m going to go up and see how she’s getting settled.”

  “Yeah. You do that.” I take another swig.

  When fifteen minutes go by without Craig coming back down, I head to my apartment off the back of the kitchen. I do not want to hear whatever they have going on.

  When Craig’s group leaves again, more than an hour later, I wander back into the L-shaped dining area with my laptop to see Dana leaning against the wall near the kitchen, looking very pale.

  “You okay?” I ask, my big brother thing kicking in.

  “Just need some ice for my ribs.”

  What? Oh. The car accident he mentioned on the phone. “Sore?”

  “From the ride in, and…” Her face flushes. “Just from the snowmachine ride in.”

  My stomach turns over at the thought of what was in that pause and cheek flush. Does she know he’s married?

  Not your business, Jason.

  I reach into the back of the freezer and grab an old bag of peas. I hit the counter a few times to break them apart and drop them in a Ziploc.

  When I slide them down the counter toward her, her brows pull down.

  “Ummm…” She reaches out but stops.

  “They’ve been in there for more than a year. I’m not eating them. It works better than ice anyway.” If Craig’s having sex with her, which I assume he is, it makes this all the worse. Not only is he cheating on his wife, but he’s screwing a girl with broken ribs? In MY lodge? Maybe all of this is my problem.

  “Okay. Thanks.” She pulls her shirt up to expose tight abs and bruising that makes my stomach drop.

  “Holy shit. Is that from your car accident?” Even though it obviously is.

  “Uh, yeah.” She pulls her shirt down over the peas and bruising.

  “And you’re out here?” I’m still staring like an idiot.

  Her chin juts out and she looks me in the eye. Hard. “It’s not nearly as bad as it looks.”

  “If you say so.” I sit back down, not wanting to be involved in whatever Dana has going on. “Why did he bring you out here if you’re still that bad?”

  “It’s not that bad,” she insists.

  I glance over her tall body again, even though I don’t mean to, and then remember I don’t want her here and flip my laptop open. “We’ll go over lodge stuff tomorrow. I guess you’re going to have to tell me if there’s something you can’t do yet.” I run a hand over my hair, trying to push it off my face. “Help yourself to food. It’s in the fridge in the kitchen and the pantry. The freezer and commercial fridge are behind the ‘Employees Only’ door. The other door is my house, so stay out of there.”

  I glance back behind me, glad again that we started remodeling in the kitchen. It’s the only place in this dump that doesn’t need to be completely re-done. Well. Except for my apartment.

  Dana nods, but doesn’t make a move. I wonder if she’s hating it here as much as I think, or if she really hurts that bad.

  “So. You’re okay?” I glance over the top of my screen. I’m sure if she was someone else, and wasn’t here with Craig that I could take more time to be nice, but I did get her peas, and did give her free range of my kitchen, and Justine’s room. All for a girl who apparently has no issue screwing a married man.

  “I’ll be fine.” I swear she grinds her teeth before turning around and heading back up the stairs.

  She wants to hide in Justine’s purple Twilight room, that’s fine with me.

  DANA

  It… There aren’t words.

  It’s like a Twilight paraphernalia truck threw up in here. Even her comforter matches one of the posters. There are Teen Vogue magazines, and pictures of teen guys everywhere trying to make bedroom eyes with what’s probably airbrushed-on five o’clock shadow.

  When I think about staying in this ten-room dump of a lodge for who knows how long, I don’t know if I can do it. The thought of spending
more time with Craig is appealing. And being home in Anchorage feels impossible. Going home to St. Louis just sounds stressful. So no matter how worn down the place is, and how much of a jerk Jason seems to be, the lodge still feels like my best option. At least for now.

  The frozen peas are working fast, and I relax on the bed that Craig and I just played on to pull out my phone.

  Six missed calls. Fourteen emails. Twenty-five @ mentions on twitter.

  I’m not in the mood to check them, but there’s nothing else to do. Even though my dad and I just talked, there’s a message from him. There’s one from my brother and one from my boss. The next is from Leann sounding a little frantic. I haven’t talked with her since I texted her and told her to get out of the house. I work myself back into my most confident self and call her because I can’t let her hear how I have no idea how I’m going to function in this rundown, old place.

  “Dana! I’ve been so worried. What’s going on?” Her voice sounds just as panicked as she had on the messages.

  I can’t keep from smiling. Leann is nice to care.

  “It’s fine. I’m fine,” I tell her. “The guy I saw on the night of my accident showed up at work. Craig thought I should get out of town.” I smile at the mention of Craig.

  “Craig is still around?” Curiosity oozes out of every word.

  “Yep.” I smile smugly. This is the part of my life that I have together, and I know what Leann thinks about him.

  “And he’s still married?” Her voice is curious, not accusatory.

  “It’s good. It’s okay.” I’m trying to figure out how to explain. “I mean I really, really don’t want an actual relationship, and it seems like he and his wife are totally on the outs, so…”

  “No. Way.” She pronounces each word carefully.

  “What?”

  “You’ve totally slept with that hot guy, haven’t you?” There’s both disbelief and awe in her voice.

  “I—” But she doesn’t let me finish.

  “You lucky little…” She laughs.